Tuesday, May 12, 2009

A great tale!




So what a week it has been upon entering the USA.... While in LA I got a taste of some serious hospitality hollywood style. I went to lots of parties, and I hung out with the Beach boys and John Stamos and generally had a ripping time. While there I got a message on facey that a friend would be in LA at the same day as me and was leaving for san diego on the same monday that I wanted to go, which is the travel way.

So we are driving down the freeway and my friend calls a surfing mate of hers that lives in Newport Beach. So we drive for an hour and arrive at Newport Beach. We get to this guys house and he insists that we stay there for the night and party. This guy works for Fox so he has this Toyota Tundra with rude rims and fox logos all over it. As we drive to lunch in this beast I'm thinking the travel gods are on my side.

Enter Mike Horski, with a story to blow my mind. This dude who shows up for lunch with us works at a bar in Newport and is generally just a chilled out legend. However, three months ago while he was lying in bed after work one night, his psycho girlfriend stabs him in the chest with a 22cm kitchen knife. So he wakes up with a knife embedded in his chest and his crazy girlfriend yelling at him. With adrenalin pumping, Mike takes the knife out of his chest and puts his girlfriend on the ground with his foot on her throat. He goes for the phone and calls 911. 911 put him on hold. So he is standing there, on hold, crazy girlfriend screaming under his foot, with litres of blood pumping out of his stab wound.

So he finally gets to talk to some emergency support and gets the cops around to his house. Just as they get there he passes out from blood loss and he gets taken to the hospital. He survives his stabbing, just. He now has a 20 cm long scar on his chest from the stabbing and general surgery.

After lunch and this awesome story, Mike and LJ take me surfing. These guys are professionals. I have never surfed before and they attempt to get me on a wave. I do, but I eat shit about 12 times before I manage this achievement. These two guys would not look out of place at the rip curl pro.

That night, Mike and I go and buy a plethora of various drinks from the liquor store and have a cracking evening. We wound up going to the bar that Mike works at and he gets lucky. Once again I have to hear people going at it right next to me. God bless America.

xoxoxoxo

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Sheep Shagging!!!!!

Well, my time in New Zealand has come to an end….
So many memories, we laughed, we cried….


The highlight for me was definitely Queenstown, this place froths all over the place. So many travel scams were used here, like the photocopying of the 2-4-1 drink cards for the altitude bar and resetting and winding the clock back on the global gossip computers so we got hours of free internet.

Queenstown has many bars with lots of alcohol, which is always amusing. It also has Fergburger, which is without peer in the making of hamburgers. I had four of these during my stay and every one was as satisfying as the last. In particular the venison creation, the bambi burger makes one feel like a real carnivore. Snaps to Fergburger.

There were also lows to my trip. I got very jealous when I heard the hot Swedish couple in my room having sex for much longer than I usually do it. I had to promptly relieve myself after this event. Also driving by yourself in a little blue car with no company or radio down the west coast for six hours made me go quite insane. I started talking to myself with comments like ‘froth, froth, froth’ or ‘snoozies ramikin’ often leaving my lips.

The wonderful accents made me giggle on a number of occasions. For instance when I was at the petrol station the other day I had to ask the lady to say six for me three times, then I started laughing and she got upset.

I think I may have also done something for my fear of heights by doing the nevis swing and bungy jump. It was fucking insane and I will never be that afraid again. It was also a seriously impressive structure and if you are ever in New Zealand you must go and do the Nevis!

The West Coast is also very pretty and Franz Josef YHA is one of the best hostels I have ever stayed in. It is a crying shame that more Australians don’t come and backpack around New Zealand. It is one of the easiest places to travel because everyone speaks English, everything is close and the place is just pristine. The hostels are frothing and everyone is really friendly. I highly recommend it!!!!!

So it is now onto Los Angeles where I will hopefully make out with Katherine Heigl or even James Franco and not find any driftwood.

God Bless Travelling!!!!

I’m off for the standard travel whopper….

Wish me Luck XOXOXOXOXO